Let’s Be Frank

Today is going to be a busy, busy day for lots of people. It’s Super Sunday, of course, and millions of Americans will be heading to Super Bowl parties to root for their favorite team (or, more likely, the team they bet on). That is, of course, those millions of people aren’t currently buried under tons of snow–the Great Blizzard of 2010 has left much of the Mid-Atlantic region paralyzed by a historic snowstorm. I spent a fun hour yesterday digging my car out of the 21 inches of snow we got here in Pittsburgh, only to see a snowplow  re-bury my rear bumper as he cleared a path through the center of the parking lot. I ran out on my balcony (which only held a foot of drifting snow) and shook my fist in rage. If I owned a rifle I think you would’ve seen me on the news last night.

But instead of yet another “Crazed Sniper Holds off SWAT Team!!” story, let me instead draw your attention to an article in today’s Washington Post, titled “Internet Gambling Again in Play”. This is the latest in a series of articles that have appeared in major news outlets about how the outlook for legal and regulated online gaming is dramatically improved. H.R. 2267, the bill that Rep. Barney Frank introduced is headed to committee for “markup”, which is when the members of said committee tweak and amend the bill. How much focus Congress will place on this bill is up for debate, as the health-care bill is still kicking around and there are other major legislative wars (bank regulation reform, for example) to be fought. And since Republicans governing philosophy right now can be summed up as “No!! No!! No no no no no!!” it seems unlikely that Frank will be able to attract a broad consensus. Though he did seem slightly optimistic that there could be some grass-roots support among conservatives.  “I think the Republicans are misreading the politics on this,” Frank said. “People who are not ordinarily active in politics get very active in this.” Frank talked about the support he’s gotten from otherwise-conservative poker players, and the article mentioned that Frank even did the “Shuffle Up and Deal!” during the Main Event. Which he did:

The usual gang of GOP suspects are quoted in the article rehashing the same discredited talking points. Republican Congressman Spencer Bachus trots out the predictable save-the-children card, “”Internet gambling is a threat to the youth of our country. . . . Young people are particularly at risk because if you put a computer in their bedroom or dorm room, it’s a temptation that many cannot resist.” Ignoring the fact that online gaming sites are ASKING for regulation, they’re ASKING for the U.S. government to help them keep underage people away. Chad Hills, a “gambling research analyst” for Focus on the the Family, says of internet gaming, “This would go outside the walls of a brick-and-mortar casino, outside the walls of a convenience store lottery, and into the living rooms and homes of all Americans.” So you have casinos going up all over the country, just about every state in the union sells lottery tickets at convenience stores and gas stations, and this is all FINE…but allowing people to play poker in their living rooms turns America into Gomorrah. Ignoring the fact that millions of people already play online poker and the walls haven’t come a-tumbling down.

So, as always when it comes to legislation, we’ll just have to wait and see. Of course we’ve been waiting and seeing since 2006, when the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act was passed. And don’t forget, it took Republican Sen. Jon Kyl nearly ten years to get that law on the books, a decade of waiting before he persuaded Sen. Bill Frist to game the system  and attach that law onto an anti-terrorism bill. It’d be nice if our legislative process wasn’t so ghastly that it almost makes you long for a benevolent dictatorship instead of a democracy. Then again, history has shown that many benevolent dictators quickly descend from “Bread for everyone!” to “Build me a pyramid of human skulls” with unfortunate speed. Looks like we’re stuck with our good ‘ol democracy, the worst form over government except for all the others.